Losing hope is not a choice

At some point in my life, I lost hope; I couldn’t handle anything. I had trust issues and was so scared of people. I rejected all those who were trying to know me better or even get closer to me. I pushed everyone away. I was so lost in my own self and was so into my shell that I only stood there watching how miserable I have become. I wasn’t able to do anything about it at that point. I needed someone, anyone, to pick up my broken pieces and help me get through what I was going through, but all those who entered my life thinking they’d save me only ended up breaking me even more than I already was.

Later on, I figured out that no one could help me except myself, thus I stopped asking for help. I decided to make myself happy and I was determined on making myself so. I started believing in myself again. I realized that getting hurt does not mean the end. I shouldn’t stop there. Going through pain and breaking down once or twice won’t make me a weaker person; I should learn from my mistakes and become stronger instead.

I surrounded myself with those I love and feel comfortable around. In the past, getting closer was my main issue. I used to watch everything from a distance. I used to be afraid from people and from getting attached to them. I used to run away from my problems, but now, I’m the complete opposite! Now I have faith in second, third, and fourth chances. I watch things from nearby and actually face them. I realize now that running away from my problems won’t help, but will only trouble me even more. Aside from the fact it would make solving those problems harder, I know that I’d be feeling guilty for running away. I’m getting better and stronger for myself. I can say now that I can face whatever’s coming in the future.

- Salma Ayman

#hope #inspiration